Sunday, January 28, 2007
cause suddenly, i've got nothing more to say. cause nothing else can fill that void. cause its only when you've given up, and when all other hope is lost, the good things come back to you. and then you feel uncertain of the pain that will come again. and only when we've realised that what we had, is lost, we start to regret. and it'll be too late.
so what if you'd that chance to make things right? to understand. and heal? you might say, it might not be real, and that your living a fantasy, but whats so bad about that. if you wont even try, then you'll never know. if you dont even dream, then i guess you'll never accomplish it.
and im trying my best to hold onto your hand, and sometimes i wonder what the hell am i doing, cause i dont know how much longer i can take. and when you come back, i might not be here. i wanna understand you, believe me, but your not giving me a chance.
silly me, why am i typing this, you'd wouldnt have the time to have the slightest thought of me.
what should you do when it feels like your holding onto nothing?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
hi shimmy! you're still anything but handsome btw! hahaha. you know, i've ben craving for dimsum since god knows when! you keep telling me we'll go shim. im so gonna smack your white ass? haha. dimsum anyonnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeee. oh btw, its ironic that i work at zara but i've never the time to look at em clothes. haha. carms and me went to zara ngeeanncity yesterday and realised that the clothes werent that impressive either!haha have you been told my 2nd home is currently seahstreetdeli. omgwtfbbq. theres absolutely zero things to do there, no cute guys to look at either, cept maybe for homing,(sorry shim, you din make the cut!) hahaa, pretty girls also dont have, NOT THAT I LOOK AT ANY. but there should be a standard right? i mean its raffles hotel, we shouldnt make tourists barf all over their food while staying here right, now i know why our tourists arrivals each year is plunging. hahaha its because of people like shimmy? hahaha. ok im joking.
so im waitng like an hour for the fag doc cause i totally skipped on work today. weekdays also people go see doc meh? looks like im not the only one taking personal offs from work. hahaha. been super tired lately.not that i dont have myself to blame, cause i keep going home at 2 in the morning and the next day im totally working morning shifts.. haha thank god my off's on saturdayyyyy. yay. im working fullshift tmrw so good luck to me. no more going home at 2 today pls. haha thats if we dont go find people at seahstreetdeli again. and again. and again again and again again again. anyways im so looking forward to donuts! thanks for waiting 1 hr and 15 mins for it la shim.haha. and cheer your white ass up kays. haha. you can always help us buy donuts again if your feeling really really really really bad. hahaha! everyone else is feeling like a bitch and im rather happy, and i have no idea why! haha. my mood is like way way way way up, and everyone elses is like, way way below the ground. hahaha smile la. smile smile smile smile smile. this can really make you smile.
hahahha you look hot in em suspenders baby, red blue and black hot! hahaha! can i laugh at you baby?i need to start to be myself, cause im sick of everybody else.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
when you break something into pieces and put it back together all over again, the cracks are still visible. no matter how many times we apologise, or how sincere we are when we say we're sorry, certain words pierce right through the heart, and no matter how hard we try to mend things back together again, somethings will always stay and never go away.
when someone tells you that they somehow stopped missing you, or caring for you and how unimportant you've become, you're fucked. cause there's probably nothing at all you can do about it, cause sorry wont even fit.
and we need to find the way back to the right track, can someone please help me find the door. is it too much to ask, too much too fast, too much to ignore? it feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in, and i dont know where to begin.
we're all looking for something to take away the pain.
cause people dont change. at the end of the day you are who you are and thats probably who you've always been. people can change, but just they dont, because its easier not to. we're always waiting for our lives to begin, like figuring that we'll be someone else some day.
love is just a hoax so forget everything that you've ever heard.
words mean nothing, only emotions matter.
Monday, January 08, 2007
just for the record, 2007 fucking sucks. cause somehow feels like everything you want and everything you need and everything you have, is lost. i cant say im always right, and i cant say im always wrong, but can someone please tell me, how can i ever erase the hurt and the pain and the scars that are always left behind? i dont wanna act like the whole damn world owes me a living, but how can we ever pretend like we are alright when we're not. how can we say sorry and mean it? how can we show that we're truely there for the ones we love, and how sincere we can be when we want them back after a mistake? i wish to be perfect, but im sorry im not. i wish to be the best, for everyone out there, for you, but i cant, and it sucks. but i promise i'll try, if you give me a chance.
if you love someone, and if you'd try your best not to hurt them, but its comes around and shoots you in the foot, what will you do? or, when you get hurt, and have so many people to turn to, but all of them combined aint enough to heal you. or like when you hold on so tightly to someone but somehow or rather, they turn to water and just keep slipping away. or like when you cry yourself to sleep, and parts of your life just keep coming back to you. i dont need sympathy, i dont need this. but something is there that just keeps pulling me back, and i cant let go. some call this love. but im not reallly sure what love is. someone enlighten me.
Monday, January 01, 2007
heyho ther. merry merry new year all! its been a great year? i'd say so! cs it was a year that was a blessing in disguise. however, there will always be certain people, or certain situations to screw everything up. but you see, if we hadnt manage to scrutinize every single detail and make such a big fuss out of everything, the year would have passed much much muchh smoother. cant say i wasnt being a petty bitch at points during the year either, im sure everyone has. the year passed so quick, now we're all back at the start again. except, things are a little different, ok, more like, very different. because at the beginning of 2006, i was waiting for something that wasnt there. now that im here, i have everything i want, but somehow feels like it isnt enough. its funny how we never take into consideration the importance of that someone being there, till they aint there anymore. i guess this feeling of dissatisfaction comes from the fear of losing that person you hold dear. the fear of drifting, that fear of losing the love. cause trying to find it back after losing it, its like trying to roll a ball up a hill. cause trying to find it back, sure is hard as hell. whats more, theres so much to do, and time. well, thats one thats hard to come by. so little time? no. theres always time to do what we want with the people we love. nothing else matters really, the choice is yours, you choose which pill to take. because i believe if you really want something badly, nothing can stop you. not money, not your friends, not even time. and then thats 101% of your heart put into it.
ok pardon my emo-ness on new years day. things have been very bothering, and im feeling like monkey crap. i keep thinking. when i try not to think, i still think! so its pretty terrible if you ask me. cs its constantly in my thoughts. i think the problem burried its feet in my mind, and the only way to get it out, is to kill it, i have no idea how. ok you probably have zero idea what im talking about, because honestly i myself have no idea. ok i actually do, but its kinda difficult to explain, and even if i could, i wouldnt explain it and type the whole chunk out for the WWW to see. i mean, kpo people will read and i dont like kpo people to read, like you reading this, kpo person. anways do you like punctuation? i know of someone who doesnt like punctuation and is always in my thoughts but i dont think i am on the other side so if your reading this (you kpo person) you'll probably be out of breath now or rather bored to death cs your reading this very very very long sentence without any punctuation see how cool it is to type without punctuation now im setting a trend yes im a trend setter. try saying it out! ok btw 2007 doesnt really feel any different. i mean. SO WHAT? 2007 only what. 2006+1. wahlao very big deal meh? why must have fireworks on 1st jan only? why not 1st feb or 1st november? actually i shouldnt be complaining la, cs there's actually always a fireworks display during my birthday. HAHA. ok so not the point. how about 1st october?but its like 2007 + 237 days leh. quite special what, the number nice right. ok whatever la. im working tmr btw, and work totally stinks sewage. its like.. ok shouldnt elaborate la later one more 2000 word paragraph. go figure. im all for the money part, and working is fine, but.. AIYA GO FIGUREEEE. ok la, make you all happy k. i post a happy picture for you. yes you kpo person.
feeling happy alrd anot. i sacrificed 2 beautiful pictures to put up. i need some credit. tell you a secret, ok not so much of a secret anymore because you indeed are a kpo person and i bet you wanna keep on reading cs i know you cant resist and temptation is pulling you to read more. like even if i type rubbish you'll keep reading, well because you are a big bbqomfgwtf kpo person ok should i get on with it? see now your getting excited bet your ass is like only sitting on half the chair actually you can stop reading here alrd la cs theres actually no secret. but i can tell you that actually i dont see any difference in this picture. ok man u match. bye bitches. happy new year, whatever, happy 1st jan. thats j-a-n-u-a-r-y. and carmen and dez, SMILE!
you'll always be my thunder so bring on the rain.